What Will They “Think” of Next?

That's, like, soooo edgy.

Here it is.  The tank-thong.

With ideas this ingenious and a sexually harassing porn-stache CEO, it’s hard to believe the company is losing $10 million+ per quarter.  Shocking, I know.

First we had the disco pants and the pregnancy clothing.  Now the tank thong.

Note to clothing designers:  If your goal is to sell clothing, you should probably make items of clothing for which there is a purpose.

I know there’s a girl who’s going to comment that the purpose is so that your tank top can be tucked in without lines showing in your tights or what-the-fuck-ever.  Come on.  How often does that scenario arise?

Also, does this piece of clothing actually serve as underwear, or does it work in combination?  I’m very interested to know the answer to that question…and not in the perverted way that American Apparel’s CEO is.  I just feel like it might be a little weird if your underwear is actually part of your shirt.

Isn’t this just kind of a one piece swimsuit?

And really, it’s just a matter of time before some bearded fat guy, desperate for attention, will wear this thing out in public just to be shocking and show everyone how he’s a little bit off kilter, but with a good sense of humor about himself.

Then he’ll finish his PBR, ask the bartender for another (definitely not tip), steal some girl’s jacket, and have his photo taken by three party photographers, all with porn-staches, of course.

It ain’t easy bein’ “unique”.

4 thoughts on “What Will They “Think” of Next?

  1. I know pretty much nothing about American Apparel (I don’t live in the US) but actually this is useful. I’m guessin’ you don’t know much about women clothes, especially most business pants are being made of ‘soft’ fabric. And yes, as you told, without a thong, people can see your underwear lines. And another problem is, both for men and women, when you sit down it’s possible people’ll see your butt crack so I myself absolutely love bodysuits. A detail that will probably disgust you; I either wear them with one of those very thin daily-pads or wear them only one day and wash them in the night.

    Boring conversation indeed but you started it. 🙂

  2. Almost as bad as Jeggings or any other ridiculous clothes-combinations. And to the comment above me: that’s absolutely repulsive, just saying.

    If they’re comfortable, more power to them. I don’t understand Crocs either, but those things were ridiculously popular.

    This is just another thing to go down as completely stupid clothing item ideas.

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