Unsafe Sex? Fuggetaboutit.

If you need this many condoms, I'm impressed.

Yes, there’s also an app for this.

Yesterday I discussed the Catholic Church’s recent approval of the “Confession” iPhone app.

Well, today I’m going to tell you about an app that is sure to increase the sales of the Confession app and make religious groups like the Catholic Church go bananas.

In celebration of Valentine’s Day, or as the New York City Health Department calls it, “National Condom Awareness Day”, the department has launched an app called “NYC Condom Finder”.

As you might guess, this handy little app allows people to find the nearest location of city-wide condom distributors, happy to pass out NYC branded condoms for free.  It can use the GPS feature on your smartphone to provide you with walking directions to the nearest rubbers.

It does make me wonder though, if you can afford to own an iPhone, can’t you also afford to just purchase condoms in a pharmacy like a normal person?  Or how about a convenience store or bodega, since you can’t walk more than a block anywhere in New York City without running across one?

There are some things to just be happy to pay for because of that certain feeling of confidence knowing that you did what was required to get the product or service you need.  It’s the same reason why you’re probably better off not getting your Lasik surgery done at the place that advertises the cheapest price in town in the back of the LA Weekly – or the Village Voice, since this is NYC related.

Assistant commissioner for the Health Department’s Bureau of AIDS/HIV Prevention and Control, Monica Sweeney, said, “”We want New York City to be the safest city in the world to have sex. A lot of people come here for that, so we want them to practice safer sex.”

That’s a noble goal, and also a really strange way of stating it.  I never thought about New York City as the place for sex tourism.

And realistically, I think New York City was already a pretty safe place to have sex.

I mean, after spending a few hours around half the cast of The Jersey Shore, riding home in a body odor ridden taxi, or a subway filled with 300 homeless people, and walking up seven flights of stairs with your potential conquest, do you really even want to get laid anymore?