*Non-Bonus Track

Not a bonus.

I think it’s about time that bands stopped doing the whole “Bonus Track” thing.

I was listening today to one of my favorite bands’ new album and after the last song, there was a 12-minute break and then a minute and a half of random guitar noises, drumming, and some distortion.  Then the album ended.

That “hidden track” really isn’t a bonus at all.  Bonuses are supposed to be something extra and good.  Not something boring and pointless.

Bands need to realize that they didn’t improve their album at all by doing this.  All they did was burn an extra 8 megabytes on my hard drive and iPod.

So, like, thanks?

There are two exceptions that I know of where I actually got some enjoyment out of a “Bonus Track”.  The first was on Tool’s Undertow where each track between the end of the album and track 69 was a second of silence, and then track 69 was the most randomly absurd thing I’ve ever heard.

Then Stone Temple Pilots, on Purple, finished Kitchenware & Candybars with another completely off the wall, yet great, song that sounds sort big-bandesque about Johnny Mathis.

I feel like Patrick Bateman talking about albums this way.

Enough of the “Bonus Track”.  It’s done.  It’s over.  Let’s just go back to normal tracks.

And if that thing you’re hiding at the end of the album actually just sucks, maybe hide it somewhere off the album.