1000 times better.

Every decade or so, a few teams in the NFL decide to “update” their jerseys.  They want to make a marketing splash, or maybe change the team’s image.

And almost every time, they end up looking ridiculous.

It’s like how Ford keeps trying to make a cool new Mustang that captures the essence of its old Mustangs, but just modernized for today’s consumer, without realizing that the only people who are going to buy them are strippers and midlife crisis guys.

This was especially big throughout the 90’s.  I can imagine the conversations in all the team headquarters.  They just felt like they had their fingers on the pulse of a trend…like how everyone in the 80’s thought electronic drums and the key-tar were definitely the future of music.

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Zoot Suit Riot

Excuse me, tailor, can you put four pockets on this picnic blanket?

The man in the middle is Deion Sanders, aka “Primetime”, aka “Neon Deion”.

After a stellar career as an NFL defensive back, while amazingly playing Major League Baseball as well, Deion has gone on to a long career as an NFL television analyst.

He’s 43 years old.

And he dresses like a complete jackass, still.

Like, Deion is just sitting there thinking, “I’m going on national television, where is my beige and yellow checkered zoot suit?  Yeah, the one with the four pockets on the right side (only two on the left).  Yeah, I think I’m going to do the yellow shirt underneath.”

Deion is dressed so absurdly that Michael Irvin, the man on the right side, looks like he’s dressed normally even though his suit is ridiculous by normal standards and he looks like he’s going to blast off.  Irvin used to set the standard for how ugly a suit can be for a television appearance.

Honestly, what is going through their heads?  It’s not “flashy”.  It’s not a fashion statement.

Fix it, Deion.  You look like a fucking jackass.

(But you were still the shit as a player.)

P.S.  I don’t know how I caught this picture with the heading, “What did we learn in week 1?”.  That was totally unintentional.  But hopefully Deion learned not to wear anything this ridiculous again.