Jesus is My Warden

My orange jumpsuit was meant to be.

This is Randy “Duke” Cunningham.  He used to be a Congressman.

Now he’s an inmate.

His crime?  Accepting millions of dollars in bribes from defense contractors in exchange for his political support.

That’s a reeeeeeal bad crime.  For it, he was rewarded with 100 months in prison (8 years, 4 months, for the divisionally challenged).

Duke is trying to find some redemption during his sentence and is teaching inmates, trying to help them earn their GED’s.

About his new work, Cunningham was recently quoted as saying, “Maybe that’s why God put me here.  To bring about much needed prison reform”.

Umm…so God wants you to bring about prison reform from prison, you say?  That’s a challenge.  It’s too bad you don’t have a more appropriate platform for your new cause.  Wouldn’t it be great if you could just have some real influence?  Like, as a Congressman or something?  Oh, wait.

Also, Randy, I’m fairly certain that God didn’t put you in prison.  I think it was probably your greed, your corruption, and your total lack of integrity…and oh, yeah – that little felony you committed.  I think that might be why you’re in jail.

And if there was a God out there chucking people into prisons, why wouldn’t he just skip the middle man and reform the prisons all by himself with a snap of his invisible fingers?  He could totally do that.

Or maybe Duke is just a messenger of God.  Yeah, that’s it.  And he’s in prison being persecuted.

Shit, he’s basically Jesus.