God Hates Bigots

Really? A straight guy designed the stick figure sign?

The Supreme Court of the United States has decided in an 8-1 decision that the Westboro Baptist Church does have the right under the First Amendment to the Constitution to hold anti-gay protests outside the funerals of dead U.S. soldiers.

Mind you, these aren’t the deaths of gay soldiers that the WBC is celebrating (I mean, protesting).  These people will protest at the funeral of any soldier.

Their signs say things like, “God Hates Fags” and “Pray For More Dead Soldiers”.

The logic?  Well, the United States, in its oh-so-staunch support of gay rights is sinning against God, and for this sin of allowing gay people to, like, stay alive and not be beaten by bigots like the Westboro Baptist Church, God likes to kill U.S. soldiers.

Makes sense right?  Every time a bullet from a terrorist pierces the skin of a U.S. soldier, and every time an IED explodes under a military vehicle killing the soldiers inside, it’s really just God exacting his vengeance for our society allowing “Queer Eye For the Straight Guy”, and Lady Gaga, and the WWE – you know, gay stuff.

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Vaginal Art Class

I cum creativity.

“I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina.”

These words of incomparable wisdom are courtesy of Lady Gaga, if that is her real name (it isn’t).

This extraordinarily stupid idea was an explanation about why she didn’t have sex, relayed to Vanity Fair in a recent interview that the magazine did with Stefani.  I mean, Gaga.

(Another explanation would be because of “not hot”.)

Maybe it’s sort of like when Muhammad Ali wouldn’t have sex for the six weeks leading up to a fight, so as not to drain him of his ass-kicking life force.

And if she’s right, shouldn’t she bottle her vaginal fluids and sell them?  I mean, if that’s all it takes to make huge pop hits (besides writers, producers, dancers, record labels, and people who make the most atrociously ugly clothes in the entire world) it seems like that should be her highest selling product.

Bonus:  It’s impossible to download pirated copies of Gaga’s um…gaga(?) over the internet!

The craziest piece of information to come out of this, though, is that at some point Lady Gaga must’ve had a crazy three-way with Madonna and Cher involving full vaginal penetration.

I mean, that’s what she’s saying, right?

What to Wear When You’re Stupid

Cool shoes.

Ok, so everyone loves Lady Gaga, ’cause she’s, like, soooo groundbreaking musically and, you know, with clothes.

Yeah, I mean, I get it.

Her lyrics are, like, really meaningful.  A true artist.  Really.

And the clothes.  She’s, like, totally on the cutting edge.

Whether it’s looking like an (attention) whore at Yankee Stadium, or wearing ridiculously stupid outfits to awards shows, she’s pretty much always wearing something that is situation-inappropriate and basically horrific looking.  But people will still pretend it’s cool because they like to pretend it’s just an expression of her genius, or Cher’s, or whatever.  I mean, who knows?

But this, oh this, is just hysterical.

Gaga fell flat on her face at Heathrow Airport.

Whoopsie.

This is what you get for wearing massive platform shoes for absolutely no reason other than that you’re Lady Gaga.  She was at the airport.  The airport, for fuck’s sake.

How stupid do you have to be to start incurring clothing related injuries?

Really.

Don’t Dance, Don’t Tell

Marines Dancing to Lady Gaga

The military doesn’t allow soldiers to be out-of-the-closet homosexuals, so I’m guessing that this is some sort of political statement on the issue.

The story is that the soldiers just got bored.

But I can assure you this.  No matter how bored my friends and I ever became, the result would never be learning the choreography of a Lady Gaga video and then dressing like the Village People to film the remake.

That said, it is hilarious.  And I hope that they repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, just so we can see more videos of soldiers dancing to the cheesiest songs ever.