Settle Down

Overboard. Always.

Hey, referees, settle the fuck down.  Seriously.

Referees in the NBA and baseball umpires are completely out of hand.  The only reason a man should ever be that flamboyant and dramatic is if they’re trying to win a Tony Award or if they’re on a float in a pride parade.

Refs are supposed to be impartial, indifferent, and dispassionate judges of the game conduct to ensure fairness in their sports and the safety of the players.  In the NFL and the NHL they do this very professionally.

In baseball, they do it ridiculously, and in the NBA it’s a downright charade.

Umpires in baseball watch a ball go over the middle of the plate at a certain height and that is a strike.  They are supposed to stick their finger out to the right to indicate that.  After three of those, they give the “out” sign.  But that’s not what happens.  Most of them make some absurd cry of “strike!” that sounds nothing like the actual word “strike”.  It sounds more an attack cry from a Kung Fu movie.  “Heeeeeraaayyyyyyeaaaaahhhkkkkk”.  God forbid there’s a close play at the plate.  That calls for jumping up and down and screaming and pointing and dramatically waiting to make a triumphant signal so that the whole stadium waits with baited breath for their high and mighty call.  Oh, and they’re also wrong so much.  A computer could honestly do a much better job of calling balls and strikes.

NBA referees take the cake though.  Most of them make a career out of making the games all about them.  Their calls are so overly exaggerated and they will literally punish players who have argued calls when really all they’re supposed to do is blow a whistle and say “your foot was on the line” or “hey, don’t touch that man like that”.  It’s like they want to be part of the outcome of the game.

That would be like going to court for a traffic ticket and the judge hearing from you and the police officer, deciding you are in fact guilty, and then screaming, “You are a scourge on society.  You make me sick you fucking weasel!  Human waste like you shouldn’t be allowed on the road and you’re lucky I can only impose a fine!  Otherwise I would have you in solitary confinement!”

“Like, uh, I just forgot to use my turn signal.”

So just settle down, referees.  You look ridiculous and you’re harming the game.  For real.  It’s really embarrassing.  Especially when you’re punishing players for disagreeing with you.  You look like spoiled children.