You eat McDonald’s. Every single day.
I bet you didn’t realize it, but it’s true, I promise you. Just today you ate a McRib for breakfast. And the McRib isn’t even in season! Mmm…rib season.
Today, within ten minutes of getting up, making some coffee…
(Oh, no! Caffeine! You’re Satan, caffeine! We should all just drink green tea instead and then listen to our Eckhart Tolle tapes. Oh wait, that’s not Eckhart Tolle, that’s the computerized Apple Talk voice telling me to eat a McRib. They sound the same. Eckhart Tolle is the reason I ate a McRib!)
…anyway. Coffee. Yeah, I made some. Then I poured it in a funny souvenir coffee cup that my brother brought back from Cabo San Lucas. It has a joke on it that some overly P.C. shithead would be offended by, but really, it’s not remotely offensive.