Assho-Cinco

"OMG, look at my dumb hat. Check out my dumb fake name. LOL. Does everyone see me? :)"

Ok, let’s get this straight.

One of the coolest professions imaginable is professional athlete.  You may not agree, and that’s a perfectly acceptable opinion to hold, but I think, objectively speaking, that job is about as good as it gets.

One of the least cool jobs in the world, maybe the least cool job ever is reality TV show “star”.

That said, let’s look at Chad Johnson – I mean, Chad Ochocinco, wide receiver from the Cincinnati Bengals – who legally changed his last name to his jersey number, sort of.  His number is eighty-five, but in Spanish that would be “ochenta y cinco”, so his name means eightfive which is sort of nothing.

This guy is a bigger attention whore than Snooki from Jersey Shore.

The NFL has fined Johnson (I’m not saying Ochocinco) $25,000 for Tweeting twice during his team’s preseason game this past weekend against the Philadelphia Eagles, which as Chad Johnson knows is against league policy.

It’s also against any standard of good taste.  Chad Johnson loves the attention, I get it.  But it is so fucking dorky to be Tweeting like that.  I mean, dude is an NFL superstar.  He’s one of the most dynamic players in the game, or at least has been at times, and all he really wants to be is an attention whore reality TV “star”.

That is just about as lame as it gets.

LOL LFL

Two Lingerie Football League (yeah, that’s a real thing) players have been put on “probation” (haha!) for wearing too much during a photo shoot.

That’s right.  They wore their shoulder pads during a shoot, even though shoulder pads are like, sooooooo 1988.

Apparently, it’s league policy to only appear in bra and underwear during photo shoots.  But I just read that shoulder pads are coming back!

Like, hello, LFL.  Don’t fine your girls for being fashion forward.

The “league” has been known to fine it’s players up to $500 for wearing too much clothing.

I wonder what the fine would be for admitting that no one cares about the Lingerie Football League.

PS.  It hurt me to click on the “sports” category after writing this post.