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After the massive earthquake near Japan earlier this month, everyone on the West Coast was naturally worried about what could happen if it was us and not the Japanese who had to experience a truly tragic natural disaster.

Former scientist. Now just science-ish.

So what better to do with that fear than exploit it?

Fox News had this guy, Jim Berkland, on television to discuss his prediction for the massive earthquake about to destroy California at some point between March 19th-26th.  After all, Jim Berkland had “correctly” “predicted” the famed “World Series quake” of 1989.  That’s right.  He predicted the last major earthquake that happened in the United States in northern California during a World Series.

And has been predicting at a 0% accuracy rate ever since.  This is worse than a broken clock being right twice a day.  This is the equivalent of when your girlfriend picks the Super Bowl winner by thinking Tom Brady is cute or by liking the team with the red uniforms. Continue reading

Taking Inaction

"Only you can prevent child abuse with profile pictures" - Optimus Prime

The past couple of weeks have seen another hot trend on Facebook – changing your profile picture into a cartoon character from the 80’s or 90’s for some reason.

See, everyone thinks that they’re doing it to somehow prevent child abuse (which sounds insane when you actually read that sentence).  That’s like thinking you can cure a cold by looking at pictures of when you were healthy as a kid.

Before anyone gets completely riled up over me stating this, let me say clearly, child abuse is a terrible thing.  I was lucky I was not a victim, though there are many who were and it’s surely horrific.  But none of this is about that.

It’s just another stupid internet meme that people do for attention or to make their friends think they’re clever.

Like, “Oh, shit!  I remember Thundercats!  Is your picture Jem?  My friend made theirs Heathcliff!  LOLz!!!”

See?  That’s stupid.  That doesn’t prevent child abuse.  It really only encourages further idiocy.

And here’s another reason to not be mad at me…

Because you got duped in more than just the obvious way.

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Spending Topics

The only way Predators can trend.

Just saw this little piece of greatness.

Twitter has started selling “promoted” space on its list of Trending Topics.

That actually defeats the entire purpose of Trending Topics.

They might as well just figure out a way to sell ad space.

Or start calling it “Trending Topics and Desperate Advertisers”…

…since there’s no other way in hell that the movie “Predators” would trend, unless there was an earthquake during the premiere that only affected that theater, or if the movie went on a Mel Gibson-esque racial tirade.

You Wish

Hey, Deepak Chopra, you only wish you could actually do the things you pretend to be able to do.

Dingbat / jackass, Deepak Chopra took responsibility for Sunday’s 7.2 magnitude earthquake in Baja, Mexico.  That’s right.  He said, on Twitter of course, “Had a powerful meditation just now — caused an earthquake in Southern California.  Was meditating on Shiva mantra & earth began to shake. Sorry about that.”

Well, that didn’t happen.  I’m guessing / hoping that what he said was tongue in cheek, but even if it was, the faux-Jedi-master was probably taken at his word by a good portion of his silly flock.  Don’t believe me?  Look at the @ replies to Chopra’s Twitter account.  People are actually amused by his “connection to and with the earthquake”.  I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Chopra is just lucky that the earthquake happened in an area better prepared for it than Haiti.  I wonder if his crowd of semi-informed readers who can’t wait to give him more money for snake oil would have been laughing and fawning under those circumstances.

As it stands, the quake caused multiple deaths, the destruction of homes and schools, and thousands of Mexican citizens being left without electricity.

Maybe, since Chopra believes in his methods so strongly, and since he obviously must be the expert, he should spend each day meditating on having no earthquakes.  While he’s at it maybe he can manifest some peace in the Middle East, the end of oppression, a cure to world disease and hunger, and a time machine too.

You know, because Deepak can influence the world around him through quantum mechanics.  Oh, no wait, he can’t.  Because while thousands (millions?) of “positive thinkers” love to pretend that there’s some sort of science behind Chopra’s ideas, The Secret, etc… the community of theoretical physicists doesn’t seem to agree.  And unfortunately, Chopra doesn’t either.

Though he passes it off to his readers as a factual relationship between the mind and the world outside, he has no problem admitting that it’s a metaphor.  Sounds sort of like Bible apologists actually.  If you don’t believe me, take five minutes and watch Richard Dawkins make him look ridiculous face to face.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdcB7FIrXXI

If you need more, watch his attempt at “debate” with Sam Harris from a couple of weeks ago.

Chopra, like most motivational speakers and writers, creates the greatest success for himself.  It doesn’t really matter what he says, it only matters how it’s received.  He’s made millions upon millions of dollars by deliberately misleading his readers.  Even those who will go to the grave believing that his methods worked for them aren’t proof that the methods are true, any more than a person living a full and satisfying life as a practicing Christian proves that people can turn water into wine.

People want to believe that they can make their lives better by thinking (feeling?  praying?) hard enough, but that just isn’t how it works.

And how ridiculous is it that this grand message of the influence of “consciousness” was relayed via Twitter?

Couldn’t he have just mentally implanted this message in the mind of his people by making it so?

Earthquake Perspective

Hey, CNN.  Remember when we talked about this iReport stuff a little while ago?  You remember.  Come on.

That woman you just had on…you know, the one who was complaining about losing her irreplaceable Christmas ornaments?  Yeah, that one.

That story doesn’t matter at all.

People actually got killed this year in earthquakes.  A lot of them.  They lost everything they had, even if that was only a little.

So, I’m not interested at all in someone’s Christmas ornaments.  And neither is anyone else.

Also…

Hey, woman who called in to complain about ornaments.  Shut the fuck up.