Half

‘Fuck me, you pussy’
You said
But I was
Half as hard
As the tone of the
Vodka chilled
Evil
Side of your voice
And the twisting roads
I drove blind drunk
To see you
Brought me only
Marginally closer
To you

That I would
Put myself at risk
To be
Within a whisker
Of your whiskey blown
Enchantment
Speed down harm’s way
To win a scrap
Of a facsimile
Of your double-sided love

You were everything
I wanted you
To want to be
For everything
I wanted to become
Your dreams
Were razors
Down the wrists
Of my hard-won
Resistance
Leaving no choice
But bleed out
Slip away
Die into you
A thousand times

‘I’m in love’
You said
But it was misdirected
And I never learned
Its target
I would give all
For you
To train your sights
On me
Lay me to waste
Leave me in your wake
Let me hurt
In any way you choose
This, I offer you
My love
May I free you from your past
Avoid mine
Move forward
And pretend
‘Will you lose
For me to win?’

I screamed
Yes
A thousand times
And faintly whispered
No
Just once
And that was all that mattered.

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