I.A.A.F.I.

We Suck

(I Am A Fucking Idiot)

These idiots recently got into an altercation on an airplane.

Romney wanted one of the “geniuses” behind such songs as Shots to put his seat back in the full, upright and locked position.

The “genius” behind lyrics as good as “Drink all day, play all night, let’s get it poppin’, I’m in LA trick”, didn’t want to do that with his seat because he apparently is way too gangster to follow airline regulations.

Mitt, thinking that he is everybody’s dad and wondering why the hooligan in front of him was wearing day glo colors and actin’ a fool, laid a hand on the gangster genius’ shoulder.

The mastermind behind such Shakespearean gems as “You make me feel super like the man of steel, you got me going stupid picking daffodils” doesn’t front, so he pistol-whipped a Republican type-quick.  I actually made that up.  He just probably pushed him or something.

But seriously…this is probably the most hilarious altercation I could even imagine.  I would love to watch them both beat each other senseless.  Mitt could wear his magic Mormon underwear and Sky Blu (not his real name, it’s Skyler) could wear whatever ridiculous bullshit he usually wears.  It’s times like this I wish Celebrity Deathmatch was still on…and real.

Anyway, such terrible “musical” acts could never allow an event like this to go on without finding some way to capitalize on it and turn it into pop culture dreck, so LMFAO has created a song called “We Came to Party (The Vulcan Grip Mix)”.  Genius, right?  Get it?  Vulcan Grip?  That’s what Mitt did to Skyler!!!  OMG.  LOL.  LMFAO.  That’s, like, so smart!  Let’s capitalize on Star Trek references while also making terrible music.  Sure-fire platinum sales!!

Here’s just a taste of the shit-pop deliciousness…(from MTV.com)

“They call you suit and tie and you’se a politician. They call me Superfly, I always got two bitches/ You go to church and tithe, I really ain’t religious/ You’re on P’s and Q’s, I sip that Jesus juice.”

Genius.

T.M.W.C.T.O.S.D.

(This music will contribute to our societal downfall)

U2 Much

Billboard has released its list of the top money-making musical acts for 2009.  U2 wins.  Not just by a little bit.  By a lot.

They made $108 million.  That is way too much.  At this rate they will never stop making music, and we’ll all be that much worse off because of it.

The shittier their music gets, the more money they make.  Their next record will undoubtedly be a total abomination. I think they’re actually getting worse on purpose to cater to the massive record and ticket buying audience with absolutely no taste whatsoever.

* In case you think I’m wrong about making a shit ton of money being terrible, take note:  Nickelback was 12th.